Meet my shorts.
I have to admit that I am absolutely and totally in love with the way the Japanese use the English language. A lot of the time, it just makes life a lot better, and I’m not saying this in a ‘hahaha look, they have no idea about how to use the language I was brought up speaking and therefore they must be stupid’ sort of way.
Most high school students here would run rings about (see) my English grammar, and if we moved to other subjects, said rings would be more numerous than those found around Saturn – or an electromagnet’s coil.
It has to do with the way that the Japanese use of English does tend to sometimes inadvertently stray into the humorous or downright dadaistic domain.
Take my new shorts about, as an example, and let’s go through that writing bit by bit.
1st bit of text: Manchester’s Hearts. Right…not sure which hearts or whom they belong to…or why hearts is with a capital…are Hearts a sports team in Manchester?
2nd bit of text: PRIDE OF RANK. I’m guessing that means we’re number one, right? And that we’re proud of that? Good going and yay us! Us, or Manchester’s Hearts.
3rd bit of text: 53. What? We came in 53rd? Well, it’s all about participating. Unless it’s about Manchester’s Hearts, in which case they’re crap and should be ashamed of themselves for finishing so low.
4th bit of text: CAUSE OF FREEDOM. OK, freedom’s good…so you’re saying that my shorts are the cause of freedom? If so, they have more power than Ford Prefect’s towel…and that got him into space. I like my shorts.
5th bit of text: LIVERPOOL. Yeah, in theory putting both Manchester and Liverpool in there is like a double-up…except if you know England and the relationship between those two cities, it’s really not…
6th bit of text: (6) INCHES OF FORESIGHT FEEL. Now I admit to having the brain of a 12-year-old, but there is no way that that does not sound dirty….