Hard to decide who won the battle between Google Translate and my local Japanese swimming pool

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I was looking for more information about my local Japanese swimming pool (not the one pictured above, I hasten to add), and ended up clicking on the page for rules and regulations. Now I love Google Translate, and I have to say that I think it almost, almost, almost got things right when I asked it to translate the Japanese rules and regulations to English.

However, being ever so slightly off target does make a trip to Yamato Swimming Pool sound like something of a surreal road trip, and includes advice such as ‘Hazardous materials, dog, cat, bring in pets, please refrain.’ and ‘Beat plate usable, usable under the helpers guardian of monitoring. Diving is a total ban.’

Below are the rules in all their ‘huh????’ glory. Enjoy 🙂

Wear a swimsuit, swimming cap always please. It is not possible to admission in the clothes.
Elementary School third grade the following children and infants requires attendant of guardian.
(You can admission up to two people to protect one person) The guardian, is called a person 16 years of age or older with parents or supervising capacity.
Use of the only elementary school children with no parents, is up to 16:45.
(16:45 or later, use of primary school children in the pool will require attendance of more than 16-year-old guardian.)
infant diapers and training pants are not completely take, you can not enter.
(In our pool, “swim diaper” does not offer, thank you for your cooperation.)
Watch, rings that appeared and necklaces, with the danger, earrings, bracelets, mobile phone, bring glass products such as hazardous materials is prohibited.
Nostoc verrucosum float, I can use from October 1, 2002. In addition, you can not use the float of more than one meter in diameter. Paddle, snorkel, use and bring such as flippers, please refrain.
(Beat plate usable, usable under the helpers guardian of monitoring)
Diving is a total ban.
Glasses, you can use at the pool side, but it can not enter into the water while wearing glasses. (Infant pool Todan-shitsu jacuzzi excluded) or in water remove the glasses, please use the prescription goggles.
Soap, you can not use the shampoo, etc.. In addition, cosmetic, please drop hair dressing always. (Oil, lotion, etc. prohibited)
Locker room is unisex. Please change of clothes in the locker room.
Use time of the pool, after you pass through the entrance gate, it is time to exit.
Follow the lifeguards instructions in the pool.
It is not possible to bring in newspapers and magazines and food and drink. It is not possible to admission of under the influence of alcohol.
I will not assume any responsibility for theft. (For theft prevention, please be sure to put the key in the coin lockers (100 yen / once / return type).
Without permission marketing and sales activities, etc. in the pool within the facility I is prohibited. (Especially ban doing business such as swimming classroom)
People with disabilities notebook, If you have a rehabilitation notebook, you can be available for free (Please present to accept guidance). Please contact us at the reception for caregivers necessary to notebook holder.
Photography and video shooting, etc. in the pool I is prohibited.
First Aid for the accident in the facility is done, but it does not take subsequent responsibility.
People who are sick, such as colds and infectious diseases, people with diarrhea symptoms can not enter.
Hazardous materials, dog, cat, bring in pets, please refrain. However, handicapped assistance dogs are excluded.
If to be in the swimming pool facility was found to be dangerous, will then exit with prohibits or restricts use.
So you do not bother to others in the facility, also fixtures please carefully use.
Other, questions or questions regard to facility use, please contact the reception guidance If you have any physical inconvenience.

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